if i never April 21, 2008

what if i never…

said that
did this
met you
made this
held you
told you
loved you
went there
read this
saw that
remembered that
let go
ignored you
thought that
judged you
liked this
surrendered this
decided this
lingered there
imagined that
picked this
followed you
gave this
laughed at
believed you
forgot that
pretended that
gave up
changed you
changed that
showed up
gave up
lost this
played that
drove there
drank that
kissed you
missed that
pictured this
destroyed you
ended that
ignored this
grew up
made up
lived out
made out
checked out
smiled at
figured out
sold out
discovered that
looked at
embraced you
walked out
joined that
talked about
danced with
became that

if i had never..
it’s what i’ve become

beautiful redemption April 17, 2008

flooded by emotion
i cannot contain
something inside me is
screaming your name
and it begs to be heard
but I choke back the sound
and I smother the words
so nothing comes out

but it’s you…
its you

and i know that voice
and I have no choice
but to arouse the feelings within
and take hold again
even if it means losing
a little bit of me…

at a time

then again
thats what its all about
dying to me…stepping aside
as you take center
in my hallow life

where the river is dry
far as the eye can see
and my bones are weary
from the endless heat

but there he is…
my beautiful redemption

in one simple moment
he removes all doubt

he stoops to the ground
to tend to my soul
and waters and nurtures
so my heart can be whole

never once does he condemn
this soil in his hand
not once does he let go
of this fragile thing that i am

because i am intentional
he spoke me into being

and everything that’s beautiful
is all that he’s seeing